Love Under The Shower
by GunnerGirl
Summary: Stealing the idea of a bit of dirty romance from my friend LovePsychedelico I wrote this for my friend Gemma, to put it simply, Kurda Smahlt and Vancha March get it on! :D


"Vancha? What are you doing?" I asked nervously.

"Come on Kurda, loosen up, I've heard your easy," Vancha growled.

"I beg your pardon!" I yelped, jumping away from him.

"I'm just telling you the truth!" Vancha said defensively.

"Who told you that?" I asked, blushing furiously.

"Darren Shan," Vancha replied.

"Don't believe him, he's lying," I mumbled.

"Not really! Ha! It was Vanez Blane ok? I never thought you were the type but the horror stories I've been hearing…"

"It's all crap!" I interrupted quickly. "It's all lies, I… they… it's not true."

"Don't be so defensive, I'm not one to judge you know I'm not, I'm just saying I thought I might have a chance," Vancha purred.

"Well you don't, for one Vanez promised not tell anybody so he's a dead vampire and for another no offence but you're really not my type," I sighed.

"Why not?" Vancha asked, "What's wrong with me?"

"I don't really do rough," I replied, "I don't find it turns me on… except for Gavner because he's sort of stylish rough but…" I stopped. I put my hand over my mouth but Vancha had already heard what I'd said.

"Well, well, Kurda, you've certainly been a busy bee haven't you?" he chuckled.

"I didn't mean to say that," I said quietly.

"Ah but you did, and I heard it, and now you can't say you don't like it because I know you do," Vancha grinned.

"Please Vancha, don't make me do this, I've got a bad enough reputation as it is without you…" my words were cut short as Vancha grabbed me in a strong embrace and pressed his lips tightly against mine. I've got to hand it to him, he certainly knew how to use his tongue! His hands were going in all the right places and I suddenly knew that I was at the mercy of a man who had had a lot of practise and knew exactly what he was doing. I was almost completely helpless.

"What's happening?" a small voice asked, Vancha pulled away from me and turned around.

"Darren?" he said. My heart dropped into my stomach.

"Kurda, what are you doing?" Darren asked, I turned to look at him, his face was full of hurt and confusion.

"This isn't what it looks like," I said quickly.

"You lied to me," Darren whispered, "You promised me that you only had eyes for me, you said I was special, you made it sound like I was the only one!" his voice was rising to a level of almost hysteria.

"Darren please, don't get upset I…"

"You're nothing but a dirty whore!" Darren shrieked, turned on his heel and marched away.

"That went well," Vancha said.

"That was your fault!" I hissed.

"It wasn't, but I can make you feel better," Vancha hissed in my ear and then he started to run his fingers teasingly down my spine. I shuddered, he was _very_ good. He grasped my hips and pulled me in towards him and then he started to kiss me again, his lips were smooth and glided over mine. My hands felt his body of their own accord and I couldn't help but grope at his arse a bit. I pulled away from his lips and leant my head on his shoulder, I started to nuzzle into his hair and then stopped.

"Gods Vancha, I'm sorry but you _stink!" _I said, letting go of him and wrinkling up my nose.

"I need a bath," Vancha mumbled, staring at the ground seeming a bit ashamed.

"I've got an idea," I said, smiling.

"I can't do it properly you're all slippery," Vancha laughed.

"That's the whole point," I grinned, "I've got to make you work, eh?"

"oh you're evil you are, you're… ooh!"

"That will teach you not to call me names," I giggled.

"Bastard," Vancha said, his eyes glinting mischievously.

"Tosser," I replied.

"Fuckwit,"

"Arsehole,"

"Prick,"

"Dickhead,"

"Wanker,"

"Hey, that's hitting below the belt!" I laughed.

"That's the whole point!" Vancha replied.

"That's it," I giggled and rolled him under the water.

"Noo… Kurda… ha… oh my God… No!" Vancha squealed. He crawled out from under the water and shook his head like a wet dog, spinning water droplets in all directions. I lay back, panting, trying to get my breath back. Vancha leapt on top of me and snarled like a wild animal.

"Vancha you're messing all my hair up," I sighed, smiling.

"Is this the face of someone who gives a damn?" Vancha asked.

"Is that your face? I thought it was your arse," I smirked.

"Ooh, that was uncalled for," Vancha hissed and then started to bite my neck, he was growling like a wild animal as though he was really trying to rip my throat out.

"Ah! Help me! I'm being attacked by a savage animal!" I squealed.

"Savage?" Vancha asked innocently. I nodded and he tilted his head to one side and started to whine like a puppy, then he stuck his nose into my chest like a dog and began licking me.

"Ew! You're all slimy!" I complained.

"Shut up," Vancha laughed and started to lick my face.

"Down doggy," I said firmly and Vancha sat backwards and stared at me, awaiting his next command.

"Rollover," I ordered and Vancha did as he was told. "Play dead," Vancha made a huge scene of dying dramatically, "Ok then doggy, now play," I said, grinning mischievously.

I opened my eyes and groaned, I'd slept in for far too long, I'd probably missed breakfast altogether. I got out of bed and pulled on my clothes and then I started down the corridor towards the hall. Vanez met me half way, he came rushing up to me, his face blank.

"I've been looking for you," he said, he didn't seem to be his usual cheerful self.

"Oh have you…" I began to say but I was interrupted as Vanez slapped me hard round the face.

"What was that for?" I gasped.

"For telling Vancha you loved him, if you want to sleep with other guys then that's fine but never say you _love _them!" Vanez cried.

"I didn't say I loved him, he's making that up!" I insisted.

"Fuck off Kurda! It's me and you, it's always been me and you, ever since I trained you it's been me and you but if you say you tell every other bastard that you love them how do I know you mean it with me?" Vanez snapped.

"I do love you," I said quietly and went to put my arms around him but he pulled away.

"It's not only that," he sighed, "I've had Larten Crepsley on my case because you upset Darren last night."

"That wasn't my fault," I said, shaking my head.

"Well whatever, the point is that you shouldn't be expecting and kind words from him, as far as he's concerned you've contaminated his boy and he thinks it's wrong," Vanez said. I felt really bad and I couldn't stop a few tears from escaping and leaking down my face. Vanez saw me crying and smiled gently.

"Look, I didn't mean what I said earlier, I know you love me and I love you too," he said. He put his arms around my neck and kissed me lightly, I wound his long copper locks around my finger, all I had to do was give off a few tears and he melted like butter and forgave me straight away, he was such a sucker!

"Are you not mad at me anymore?" I asked, knowing the answer already.

"Of course I'm not, how could I stay mad at you? Look at you you're beautiful, with your platinum blonde hair and your crystal blue eyes and… and… Gods I want you, are you busy?" Vanez smiled.

"I haven't had anything to eat yet, I couldn't stomach it, maybe later," I replied and walked off into the hall. Really that was only a half truth, I couldn't stomach it any time, it was just that Vancha was fresh in my mind and he'd been so good, I couldn't help but feel that if I had Vanez so soon after Vancha he would seem somewhat disappointing. And after all, I could have him whenever I wanted, I could have anyone whenever I wanted, I had every vampire in the mountain wrapped around my little finger, it's so fun being sexy!


End file.
